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Poetry: My painful past

by James Hall

Created on: November 09, 2010

A Hero’s Son

watch me breathe deep
in blind faith
footsteps trace
through once bloody battlefields
forcing pride
in you

I hear guns cry out with siren raids
all the movies spin inside my head
though this heart can’t understand

what were you fighting for?

The graveyard pulls me deep
with a fragrance of lost loves
wakes bitter truth
to endless daydreams of glory

muddled memories
rows of declarations
blurring from focus
helmets and hard boots
rifles and rations
mechanical routine

I feel tiny fists of dedication
crashing at my instinct
that this was all wrong

were you different
one in millions, disguised in beautiful promise
to come home to us, come home to us
with stories bittersweet
values strengthened
in what you always had

for you I climbed in playground trenches
talked ideas with childlike colour
of bringing daddy down from the clouds
where back into his arms I would safely go

picking at grass, sitting alone from playmates
watching planes cut smoke patterns in the sky
my voice danced through trees
I was lost in singsongs of war
just like your men

I whisper across your gentle letters
written in haste

make me a part of your death
so I can understand this life

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