by Joseph Wardy

Created on: November 05, 2010

The essence of success in the workplace is healthy relationships. Motivational speaker Brian Tracy studied success and  concluded that 85 percent of success lies within relationships. For these relationships to genuinely thrive, we must employ a give and take that truly expresses our humanity. Here are five suggestions to practice give and take. 

* Diagnose- Before we approach a co- worker with a problem or issue, diagnose who they as it pertains to their temperament, values and hot buttons. Rather than practicing the Golden Rule, why not treat them the way they want to be treated. People are different, Some people crave security, others a social connection  and yet others esteem, independence and self actualization. 

* Recognition- We may all want different things but the greatest need of people in general is getting recognized. How do we connect recognition to give and take? Suggestion: Don't approach co-workers with a preplanned agenda of how to solve the problem. Ask for their input and opinion. This strategy recognized their expertise and experience.

* Listen- An open mind to a different perspective can be difficult and challenging. Why not take their perspective and then give yours? if you give here first, you may get back passive agreement or hostile disagreement. Suggestion: Encourage the process of dialogue of questions that cannot be answered as yes or no. Examples: Questions that start with " Why, 'How", " What" and " Tell me more". Also, please consider summary questioning as a means to check understanding. Example: "What you are saying is that our systems problem is caused by etc" Conclusion: Genuine dialogue is give and take.

^ Explain and Negotiate. Here the process of give and take continues. Compare and discuss each viewpoint and exercise the power of give and take while managing the ego by what and not who is right.  

* Action Plan-  If a give and take action plan is not completed, the above communication skills are still academic. When ther process of negotiation has been successfully completed, first agree through give and take why the action is needed, who will do what, how it will be accomplished and the benefits to each person and the organization.

These five suggestions are intended as a balance between the traditional viewpoint that giving is selfless and taking is selfish. When practiced genuinely and skillfully, it presents the possibility of a win win for each person ultimately benefiting the organization.   

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