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Understanding the passive communicator

by Lillyswawa

Created on: November 02, 2010

Passive communication is a trait of all possessing a phlegmatic personality and is a key component of the less confident.

Phlegmatic personality

There are four personality types (five for those who care to insert the "supine").

1) Choleric: your typical "type A", driven, highly-opinionated, self-assured individual.

2) Melancholy: often introspective, the "feeler" cares deeply (perhaps too deeply) and can carry a grudge for months but - never fear, you are certain to be made aware of it!

3) Sanguine: the jovial, life of the party and (no matter how pleasant the presentation) there will never be any doubt about where he or she stands.

And, finally, 4) Phlegmatic: the guy or girl whom you can never be entirely sure what they are thinking! The individual falling into this category is soft-spoken, likes to remain in the background, and is not likely to stir up any controversy on any topic for any reason, no matter how strongly held their personal views.

It is this personality type whom you can well-expect never to offer much opposition or resistance in regards to the status-quo. They will not initiate causes nor will they rally support for any. If you want them to offer their opinion on a subject, expect to have quite a time getting it to happen. They prefer to remain "non-committal". (Just try to get a marriage proposal out of one of them!)

This keeps the pressure off and, quite frankly, they hate pressure. In all fairness, these folks are "the peacemakers" and that is never all bad! It is just that these folks are not about to jump up and run for public office or start making numerous motivational speaking appearances.

If married or involved with one of these passive ones, try to discover just what makes them tick, or better put, what (if anything) excites them. If they are convinced you are truly interested, they will make an attempt to communicate, - at least a little. Much past that, there is little to be done to change their quiet, introverted behavior.

Lack of certainty or confidence

When anyone who is balanced and confident in their personage cares to share a viewpoint or voice an opinion, they do so without reservation or fear of retribution.

Unlike with the introverted, phlegmatic personality who doesn't care to share, the shy, less-confident individual may wish to speak up but, is frightened by what may happened if they do. So, they are more likely to act out their refusal to comply rather than tell you about it with so many words.

Actions which indicate negative passive communication are: physical (without words) refusal to do something or go somewhere, totally ignoring a request or question outright, staring ahead while sitting in silence, shrugging the shoulders, smirking or rolling the eyes... these actions communicate (without words) the message: "Go away", "I don't care what you want", "I don't need you".

On the other hand, if you get: smiling shyly, deliberately brushing the arm when passing by, staring longingly from a short distance, performing some small service that is meant to capture attention...these actions suggest an attraction or interest in the other person and concern for their well-being.

With these individuals, you can rarely take anything at face value.









Learn more about this author, Lillyswawa.
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