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Satire: The Internet

by Daniel Curtis

Created on: March 07, 2007   Last Updated: May 14, 2007

World Wide Web of Self Destruction



I am amazed at the power that lies in this machine on my desk. With a simple click of my mouse, I am whisked away to far off places like Japan, or Ireland. I can magically have a conversation with anyone in the world at a given time. And there are no more trips to the library to seek out information lying in dusty encyclopedias. It is truly a miracle at what I can do from these sets of wires and a screen. I can make a date with a girl of my choosing without ever leaving home, or buy something from a store without the hassles of long lines and noisy customers.


I have learned a lot about other cultures from visiting online chat rooms. I have talked to many people in other countries such as England, China, and even Iraq. It is hard to imagine talking to someone so far away without the use of the telephone. And this is done for free. I have even received photos from these people and seen pictures on line of places I used to dream of going to. I have seen the Eiffel Tower and the hanging gardens in my own virtual world. It was as if I was there and it did not cost me a penny to see it.
I now pay all of my bills on line. No more licking envelopes for me anymore. I do not need to bother with that. I simply can go to the company and log into my account and my bills are paid. I do not have to hassle with the mean and nasty people at the offices where I used to pay my bills, or to waste my time buying postage. In fact I cannot remember the last time I sent anything by mail. I even send out my Christmas greetings via the internet. There is simply no need to buy expensive cards that just get thrown away when I can send one in an email. All of my correspondence in fact is done with email. I use it at work, and at home.
It is amazing how this little machine can do most of our thinking for us. I love it. Even for this assignment, I have spell checker on as I am writing it. This way it shows where I made a mistake, and corrects it for me. So what I used to be a good speller. I do not have to worry about that anymore; it is taken care of for me. I have a similar program that does any math calculations for me. It adds and subtracts and multiplies and divides with just a few simple clicks. Yes sir, I love that I do not have to think anymore
The only time I leave my house is to go to work or to the store. Outside of my family I may not see many people. But I have all the friends I need online in my own little virtual world. Social skills are over-rated anyway. I do not feel as inhibited when I'm hiding behind a screen as I would in a face to face conversation.
Yea, it is said that we may be a little more anti-social and lack basic math and English skills, but who needs them since this little magic box does it for you.

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