by Judy Mosca

Created on: October 31, 2010

Much media attention has been given to the bullying epidemic in our schools. Students of grade school, junior high and high school have taken their own lives as the result of being victims of predatory bullies. The search is on as to what to do and how to curb or eliminate bullying altogether in our schools all across the country. No apparent solutions have surfaced thus far but the cry remains, ‘something must be done.’

What does not seem to be widely understood is there are more participants in a bullying scenario than the bully and the victim. Identifying them first, then we can begin to address how much needed change can be implemented. There is much to do and can be done to turn the tide of this evil, dastardly behavior.

The Bully

Bullies can be male or female and they come in all shapes and sizes, from every culture, varying economic status, and can be found in various stages of the bullying process. A bully is not grown overnight but has been evolving over a period of years. They have been left unchecked and allowed to flourish and in some cases, they can become very dangerous accelerating to the point of doing actual physical violence to their victim. A bully is a living walking predator.

There are no hard and fast rules as to what makes a bully do what they do or what makes them tick. However, we can be sure that generally a bully is sad, lonely, confused, insecure, and very angry. Most likely they see themselves as ’a nothing, a nobody, going nowhere’. They haven’t, for the most part, really excelled in anything and have no achievements as their claim to fame. It seems they have received no kind of affirmation from their family, the community, or school that they have worth and value. In short, they do not  sense they are loved by anyone.

A bully wants to be somebody, be accepted, acknowledged as existing, and bullying a victim becomes a venue to release their anger. They draw attention to themselves even if it is negative. At least someone notices them now. Having power over another gives them a rush and makes them feel important.

The Bully’s Following - His So-Called Friends

Perceived as being strong and powerful, some students gravitate to a bully. They sort of stand behind or beside the bully, participating in the dirty deed in one way or another. A showing of his so-called friends lends to the idea that this group is a formidable force which strongly discourages the victim from attempting any defensive action.

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