by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: October 29, 2010

There are many people in this world who are passive aggressive, both men and women. It does seem, however, that there tend to be more females than males who fall into this behavior pattern. This probably goes back to a time long ago, when women were always expected to be the gentler, more demure, quieter gender. Passive aggressive people are generally that way. They can quietly and demurely insult, offend, and hurt you. For women, this can be much easier and more natural than yelling or becoming physically aggressive.

Being married to a passive aggressive woman is not the easiest thing in the world, to be certain. You may not have even realized fully that this is what was going on prior to the marriage, when you began to live a daily life together. It is hard oftentimes to determine whether a person is being passive aggressive or if you are being over-sensitive, or if there's just a simple misunderstanding going on. There are some signs that are fairly typical of passive aggressive people, however, that you may be able to see in your wife and better understand what the whirlwind of your life is being directed by.

*Guilt Trips

Passive aggressive people are professionals at laying guilt on other people, usually when it belongs on their own shoulders. They can turn everything around in a way that will make it seem as if you were in the wrong, even though you may not have been. If you don't take a while to re-think what just went on, you may go the rest of your days thinking you caused a problem that you didn't.

*Manipulation

Passive aggressive people are also masters at the art of manipulation. They can get you to do almost anything with the right words, looks, or actions. This is often tied right in with the guilt trip that they start out with. They may also use the love that you have for them to manipulate you, starting a request with the question, "do you love me?" which will then be followed by the request, rather than just coming right out and letting you know what they want or need from you.

*Hidden Insults

When your wife is passive aggressive, you may find that you are in the middle of an argument, which you missed the beginning of, being unaware that there was anything going on out of the norm. She may say things like, "Well, at least you managed to take the trash out" instead of, "Thank you for taking the trash out". Statements like the first one degrade what you did, even though they do acknowledge that you did it, while the second statement acknowledges what you did with true appreciation.

Life with a passive aggressive wife is not simple, nor is it normal. It is a life that is filled with confusion and insecurity for you. You don't really ever know what is meant by what she says and does which will inhibit your ability to communicate with one another extremely. If you are married to a passive aggressive woman, you should gently approach the subject and consider getting some outside counsel to assist the two of you with finding out why this is happening and how to end it.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.