by Barbara A. Black

Created on: October 29, 2010

Being in a relationship does NOT guarantee happiness! Happiness is not something that you can buy, borrow, steal, or be given. Happiness comes from within a person, not from something outside of that person.

Relationships can enhance happiness, if the relationships are good ones, and happy ones. A good relationship can help a person be a bit happier within, but that person has to already be at least partially happy in order for the relationship to add to the happiness. But a bad relationship will change the degree of happiness that the person feels, and to stay in a bad relationship can turn the happiness into despair.

To be happy, a person needs to decide what he/she really wants out of life, and then write down ways to reach his/her goals. With a plan, the person can begin to work toward achieving the goals, and begin to find happiness within him/herself. Happiness is an INNER achievement, not an OUTWARD one. If the person is not happy within, that person will not be happy regardless of circumstance in life or who his/her friends or close relatives are. In fact, a person not happy inside will soon either be alone or be part of a group that have no goals and/or happiness themselves. It takes a happy person to help another person become happy. One unhappy person, though, can undo all the work that the happy person has done, unless the ones involved are aware of what is happening and cut the relationships with the negative ones.

Happiness is an attitude, and that attitude, like all others, needs to be reinforced on a regular basis. It may need to be reinforced only occasionally, or it may need to be reinforced hourly or daily. Only the person who is involved can decide when the reinforcement is needed, and every person is different. Some people are very happy being alone, and others have to have people around to be happy. Whatever the person's personality demands is what that person needs to do, in order to be happy. Many people seem to never be happy, regardless of their circumstances and friends. That may mean that they have never stopped to consider what would actually make them happy, and then gone in search of whatever they need.

Anyone can be happy. All you have to do is to decide what will make you happy, and then go after it! If you get it and you still are not happy, that only means that you were mistaken in your idea of what would make you happy. Keep looking around; you will eventually find what you need to be happy. And when you do, you will also find other people being drawn to you, because they want to know what makes you so happy!

Learn more about this author, Barbara A. Black.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.