by Jane Corona

Created on: October 27, 2010

Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.  That gets my girdle in a bunch.  Not that I am any good.  I do enjoy driving the cart, having a few libations, soaking up the beautiful scenery and once in awhile trying to hit that pesky little white ball. 

My all time favorite golf day was when my sister joined my husband and my daughter and I.  Let me explain,  I enjoy the sport but don't feel upset  for doing badly.  My personal mantra is, "I don't care", because I believe when you start to care, you start to suck.  I also believe that if you wear a hat, you wil hit your head on the cart getting out,  because you can't see up.

We ladies all approach the tee with a determination in our hearts.  My daughter looks great and hits a killer shot.   My sis is next.  She has the stiffest back swing you have ever seen. Whiff.  Whiff.  My daughter falls to the ground and asks, "Are you trying?"  To which we both laugh. "Well, sure!"    My turn to show my stuff. I hit the ball about 4 feet or so, run to it and toss it as far as I can.  We all crack up.  "Why have a bad game?"

My favorite thing about golf are the stupid sayings.  "Oh damn, a worm burner!"   "Whoa!  I'm dancing!"   "Bummer, you're on the beach!"  "Get to the gym, Alice!"  "That was a LInda Ronstadt!"  "Another FISO!"  "There's a Teddy Kennedy!"  "I got another snowman!"  This exclusive language makes me feel special like an insider in a special club. 

Now, ladies don't be intimidated.  Men stink too.  They just carry themselves differently.  With swagger and  an "I'm bad!" attitude.  When I do that, my daughter falls on the grass and wets her pants. Whiff.  Whiff.  Whiff. "Are you trying?"

Golf needs to be taken for what it is.  It's a beautiful setting, but really, don't care,  "iI's a game Focker!"  Be gracious to those who are better.  Enjoy the great outdoors, you could be ironing!  If you screw up, throw it.  Or drive the cart awhile, sipping your beer and drop it where you want it.

Isn't that a mulligan?!

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