by Amelia Randall

Created on: October 24, 2010   Last Updated: October 25, 2010

When it comes to getting a divorce, it is not just you and your partner that suffers. The whole family has to deal with the consequences. The mothers and fathers stand to loose out on possible friendships they have made with you and the same for any other family members from your partners side. Then you have the children who are caught in the middle.

There is no easy way really when it comes to divorce. No matter how you dress it up, it still comes down to the same thing. When telling a child though, there are certain things that you do not need to tell them. At as young age, they do not need to hear what daddy did or mummy did, they do not need to hear or see the pain. That sort of thing, damages the children in the long run. They also do not need to feel like they have got to choose.

The best way to tell your children is together. So what if he slept with another woman or she slept with another man, it does not stop the way you feel about your children and so you should be able to sit together on the sofa with your kids and talk. Make it look like you do not hate each other, just have had a few problems. Explain that mummy and daddy are going to be living in separate houses, because you both have so much to do and at the moment those things can not be done together, talk about how many times a week they will see their daddy and how many times they will stay at daddy's house. Let them express what they think and though they may not be happy, just reassure them, because they will come around when they realise that they are not going to have to choose who they love or see. When the children speak about daddy or mummy, allow them to say what they need to and then they will go away and change the subject. If you feel the need to cry or be angry, then do it when the children are asleep, or when you can get out on your own.

Children of a young age, never really understand anyway and they never want to fully except change. So being pleasant and friendly in front of them and covering up the why's will make it easier for them and then as they gt older, you can explain more.

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