by Linda Batey

Created on: October 23, 2010

Having set at the neighboring table to a two-year old that his parents thought was adorable, but clearly was not, I hoped that the server would get an enormous tip. The toddler threw food, spilled anything within reach and his “inside voice” was at the same decibel level as a passing locomotive, which made for a less-than-intimate dining experience for everyone else. As they finally left the table, I watched the same young man who had served that table clean it all up. What a mess. He had been kind to them, but after they’d gone, he clearly was not a happy camper. 

Some people believe that it is just fine to take an unruly, poorly managed toddler to a restaurant and not make them behave. Perhaps they have never behaved in their lives, or perhaps they’ve learned as toddlers do, that if they are reprimanded in public all they need to do is pitch a fit and then they are given the keys to the kingdom so the parents can “enjoy” their meal.

Children too young to understand and follow rules should be left at home with a babysitter until they’ve had many practice sessions at home. It should be a given that if a eatery offers fine linen table cloths and napkins, has a cocktail bar and a wine cellar, and people actually dress up to go there, that kids should not be allowed. All of the other patrons are there to enjoy a fine meal; why should they have to watch a brat throwing food and yelling at the top of his lungs while his parents ignore him. Better for management to  send one family away than to have several other couple leave and never come back.

Parents with well -behaved children should expect to pay a bit larger gratuity to the server. Even the best of kids spills their water or spills drops of sauce on the tablecloth.  If your kids make you work harder at home cleaning up after meals, it only makes sense that you should shell out a bigger tip when someone does it for you.  Your server is going to have to spend extra attention on the table, and most likely on the floor. I saw one thoughtful woman spread a large vinyl tablecloth under her toddler’s highchair when they were seated; after they were finished, the woman simply rolled up the tablecloth and took it with her, leaving no mess on the floor for the waiter. She must have been wait staff at some time in her life.

Learn more about this author, Linda Batey.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.