by Mary Gage

Created on: March 06, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

I believe that every parent has a different type of parenting skill, and although there are some that are obviously out of whack, there are quite a few that are right on.

This my simple little plan, and although it may seem silly, it has changed a great many potentially bad days, to a tremendous amount of great days.

I am a sole providing single mom, my healthy happy 8yr old has a mild form of Aspergers, for those of you who are not familiar with that, it simply means, I have been blessed with a beautiful child who has a form of Autism.

Although my son was diagnosed at the age of 8, there were already components in motion to help him socially develop into a vibrant happy little man.

I will give you some insight into who my son has actually become, and what he has not only accomplished for himself, but what he has taught me. My son taught himself how to read, he is in grade three at the moment, and reads at a grade 6 level. My son was doing multiplication in kindergarten, he has a photographic memory not only for script, but for faces and names as well. He can probably challenge any sports comentator to any kind of hockey history that is out there. Although, he may struggle with some skills, there are some that as an adult, I wish I posses, that he holds true. My son has the inability to hate, or to dislike, anyone or anything. This is a trait, I can honestly say, I do not possess.

He rides the bus home everyday, and was having problems with one boy on it, this boy was not only physically abusive, but mentally as well. Not only to my child, but to others on the bus as well. My son would tell me stories how this child bullied him, or somebody else. Than the very next day, he was more than excited to see him at school, because this boy was his friend. This boy who hit my son, made fun of my son, tripped him, told him where he could and could not sit.... This boy was my sons friend. I couldn't understand. I asked many times, if he was sure that this boy was his friend, and he assured me he was. I asked him why this boy was his friend, and he said.... "No reason, he just is." I still don't get it. Needless to say, I was not the only parent complaining about this child and his behavior on the bus, he was removed from the bus, and has since left the school.

Ok, now onto my very simple parenting rule.... Every morning, I ask my son what kind of day he is going to have. Its that simple. I have empowered him to be the boss of who he is. He is no longer allowed to let other people decide whether he will have a good or bad day. Thats his job. We have a simple saying in our house:

Positives attract Positives
Negatives attract Negatives.

If you want positives, you have to give them. Since adopting this simple little policy, his good days have increased tremendously, and his bad days, have decreased by leaps and bounds. He now tells his teachers about this pos and neg rule.

If there has been nothing more that I pass onto my child, other than the love and nurturing, and protection, he will now carry with him, the choice to make on his very own, that determines how he will carry himself, how he will react in situations, what he will give to others, and what he should expect in return. It may seem simple, and somewhat silly... But it really does work...

Just my opinion

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