by Carol Gioia

Created on: October 20, 2010

It is not an easy task to write a sympathy letter. You might be concerned about how well your sincere thoughts translate onto paper. The best thing to do is to write from your heart and hopefully the message of sympathy you wish to convey will be revealed in your sincerity of tone and choice of words.

There are four components to a heartfelt sympathy letter, and each component can be a different paragraph, which will create a letter that is not too brief, nor too wordy.

How to write a heartfelt sympathy letter:

* Salutation

A formal salutation, such as Dear (name,) or Dearest (name,) is appropriate and sets the proper tone for your heartfelt condolences.

* Paragraph 1 - Express your condolences

Begin by letting the recipient know that your thoughts are with her at this sad time and how sorry you are to hear of the passing of her loved one (by name.)

* Paragraph 2 - Acknowledge recipient’s grief

Acknowledge the pain and sorrow the grieving person must be feeling. Keep your own thoughts of grief to yourself, for the purpose of your letter is to offer comfort to the recipient, not to vent your own sadness. Take care not to make the letter in any way reflect back to you, for this is one situation where it is not about you.

* Paragraph 3 - Talk about the deceased

Some brief comments about the deceased is appropriate. If you have a favorite memory, a specific trait you admired or any other positive observation to share, your kind words about her loved one are sure to bring comfort.

* Paragraph 4 - Reiterate your sorrow

This paragraph is essentially the conclusion of your letter. Repeat how sorry you are for the loss of her loved one and for the pain of the recipient. Express your hope that time will heal her sorrow and fond memories of her loved one will sustain her.

* Complimentary closing

For a sympathy letter, you might add more than the perfunctory, Love, or Best Wishes that would be found at the end of an ordinary social letter. You might want to use a religious theme by closing with, “God bless you and keep you in His care,.” or if you prefer, you might sign off with, “My deepest sympathy,” “My thoughts are with you,” or any variation of that sympathetic tone.

If the recipient is an especially close friend or relative, sign your given name. If the recipient is an acquaintance, a business associate or any other person you don’t have interaction with on a regular basis, sign off with your given and last name.

In keeping with the serious nature of a sympathy letter, ensure to use good bond paper in either white of off-white and a black pen.

Even if you are attending the funeral of the deceased, taking the time to write a sympathy letter is a kind and thoughtful gesture and an effective way to convey heartfelt sympathy and empathy to provide comfort during a difficult time.

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