by Cher Nielson

Created on: October 20, 2010

I wish friendship was as simple as it was when we were younger. As you get older things become more complicating. I was in denial about this little fact in life. In fact, I was in denial that people can change, for the worst, even though we've been friends with them for years. Of course we all grow up and change as we are progressing in life, but there is a distinct line in friendship that separates true friendship with manipulation. We all count and rely on our friends for help, support, and advice. Compassion and trust keep friendships strong and alive. But, the difference between genuine help and manipulation is within a person's intentions.

Toxic People:

1. A toxic friend will only call you when they want something. This is one of the biggest red flags. They might need advice, money, a place to go and spend time, food, entertainment, or whatever else they are looking for. These people make it a point to call on you when they need something. If they don't need anything you will not hear from them until the next time. Also, a good way to tell they just want something is when you can't help them, or won't, you will see how fast their true colors show. 

2. Toxic friends will use you. This is another red flag. You can be used for just about anything, and chances are you have provided for them before which is why they continue to come back and use you, you have allowed this to happen. But here is the good news, you can say no. Some signs you are being used: this friend will expect you to pay for things, even if they can pay themselves, they will show up at your place unannounced, they will "borrow" your clothes, shoes, money, and not return it, or forget, they will only call you on the weekend to see what your plans are, they're bored, or they will ask constantly for endless favors, rides, money, time... etc.

3. Toxic friends will manipulate you. We are all capable of manipulation, whether we realize it or not, but this is manipulation with intention. This friend will cry, beg, scream, verbally attack, use guilt, latch on, refuse, never apologize, tell you your always wrong, use the sympathy act, use depression or suicide to threaten you, and always be extremely defensive or confrontational in conversations that point out this behavior.

4. Toxic friends will disappear when you need them. You might always be there for them but they aren't always there for you. In fact, most of the time if your the one who needs some advice or help they are busy or don't answer

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