by Sam E. Jones

Created on: October 20, 2010

When it comes to dating, the first one is almost always the most difficult, because most first dates happen with someone you don’t know, which leaves a lot of room for awkward pauses in the conversation. But, as someone who has been on more than a few first dates, I have some good tips to offer, below are ten of them.

1 – Listen when he or she tells you their name, and then do whatever you need to do to remember it, be it writing it down, making up a jingle or saying it to yourself over and over in your head, because few things doom a date more than forgetting the name of the person you are with.

2 – Be on time. Or in other words, don’t be late, fashionably or otherwise. Remember, your date is probably just as nervous as you are, so don’t keep them sitting there sweating it out. And if you can’t avoid being late, call.

3 – Be polite. Which means saying please and thank you, and includes being kind. Say nice stuff, it won’t kill you, and just might get you some points.

4 – Look at the date from the perspective of someone who is getting the once over, rather than as the one giving it. If you think you’re the better catch, you should probably end the date and go home, because you’ll likely come off as arrogant.

5 – Give compliments. If the other person looks good, tell them. If they do a smooth move out on the dance floor, mention it. Giving compliments is a good thing, so long as you don’t go overboard and start dishing out compliments you don’t really mean.

6 – Think of some things to talk about before the date. It’s kind of silly to assume that two people who don’t know each other will be able to come up with all kinds of things to talk about on the spur of the moment. Think of some stuff to talk about in the days leading up to the date, not on the drive over.

7 – Don’t expect anything. No matter how you met, or how you wound up on a date together, don’t expect anything. Because you’ve just recently met, you’ve done nothing yet to earn that sort of thing. Instead, play things by ear and if things happen that you want or like, be happy about that, if not, don’t get angry.

8 – Have an agreed upon agenda. In this age of the hook-up or hang out, there are dates where people meet without knowing beforehand what they will be doing. Sure spur of the moment things can be fun, but the fact is, in real life, they’re usually not.

9 – Be honest. Lying to your date about who or what you are is ridiculous, suitable only for television sitcoms. Tell your date the truth and be proud of it.

10 – Be clear about your further intentions. If you had a good time on the date, say so. If you didn’t, don’t say you did. If you want to see the other person again, say so, and if you don’t tell them that too. Don’t leave someone hanging to save yourself some embarrassment. Treat everyone you date with respect and allow them their dignity, and hopefully they will do the same with you.

Learn more about this author, Sam E. Jones.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.