by Monica K

Created on: March 06, 2007   Last Updated: March 31, 2008

My personal experience with child support is as follows:

- My mother and father divorced when I was 5. My mother pursued child support from my father.

- When my father would pick my brother and I up for visitations, he would
incessantly complain about how child support was "draining him dry."

- My mother on the other hand, incessantly complained about how my father didn't pay enough child support.

- When I was 11, my father advised me that he adopted me. He claimed that he only adopted me in an attempt to win my mother's affection back after a break-up. However, he alleges that my mother manipulated him into adopting me just to "screw" him for support. In other words, he sent the message that he couldn't care less about me.

- When I was 19, my mother insisted that I appear in court to tell the judge that I was living with her and enrolled in school so that she could continue to collect child support. (I had actually moved out of my mother's house several years earlier and no longer enrolled in school)

- Later the same year, I asked my mother for $100 from the child support that she continued to collect and she went ballistic, threatening to kill herself because she had no money.

My personal experience with child support issues has left a huge impact on how I handle the issue in regard to my own children.

In a perfect world, the perfect man meets the perfect woman and together they decide to have perfect children. In a perfect world, children are raised by two parents, a mother and a father. In a perfect world, there are no conflicts in the arena of parenting. In a perfect world, a man and a woman who choose to participate in intercourse together agree upon whether or not to procreate. But.... Reality check.... We do not live in a perfect world! The bottom line is that each potential parent should approach the concept of parenting alone. As I write this, I can almost hear the gasps, jaws dropping, and the numerous "hell no!" exclamations that are predictably surefire responses to reading the previous sentence. However, collection of child support becomes unethical when the child's safety and emotional well-being are threatened as a result. Ultimately, the children's best interests should always remain the highest of importance. This goes beyond just the best interest in terms of financial support. Often times a bitter, hateful court battle will wreak havoc on a child's emotional well being. Therefore, while the custodial parent has won the court battle for child support,

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