by Eric Goudie

Created on: October 20, 2010

Really? You’re that sexist? Come on.

Stupid spending isn’t gender-specific in any way, shape or form. There are just as many men as women blowing money they don’t have on things they don’t need. Yes, it’s possible that within a marriage each partner may have different spending habits, and sometimes it will in fact be the wife who makes more seemingly frivolous purchases, but it can be the man who’s ruining a couple’s chances at financial security just as easily. Grow up.

Most married couples have a joint bank account, and with good reason – whatever money is in there belongs equally to both. In an open, stable, loving marriage it doesn’t matter who is making the money. One partner may make significantly more than the other – often it’s the man, but sometimes it’s the woman. Sometimes one partner will stay at home to take care of the house and look after children – often it’s the woman, but sometimes it’s the man. No matter what the arrangement may be each partner’s contribution to the marriage isn’t measured in purely monetary terms but in terms of the overall relationship. Regardless of who earns the money in a marriage both partners should have an equal say in how it gets spent.

So who are you to say that your wife needs to spend less money? Perhaps she does have a shoe addiction – or maybe she broke a heel at the office and actually needs a new pair of shoes – what’s important is that if she truly loves you and cares about the marriage she’ll only spend what the two of you can realistically afford.

Conversely, if you rack up a $100 bar bill playing pool with the boys she shouldn’t have a problem with it as long as the money to do so was set aside ahead of time, and it’s the sort of thing you do once a year, as opposed to once a week.

And actually budgeting your money is a great way to ensure that neither partner in a marriage spends more money than they can afford. When you’re dealing with the cost of items on paper (as opposed to standing in line with a $500 leather jacket in your shopping cart) you can have a much more rational, pragmatic conversation about needs and wants.

You might find it absurd that your wife needs to drop over $100 every six weeks just to get her hair done, especially when you go to the barber for a $15 cut three times a year. But if you actually stop and listen to her she might tell you how much she hates herself when she sees a grey hair, and how people think she looks twenty years younger when she walks out of the salon than when she walks in. You might actually notice the huge smile on her face when she talks about it, and realize just how much joy and happiness that $100 every six weeks is bringing into your marriage.

Learn more about this author, Eric Goudie.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.