by Annie Farfum

Created on: March 06, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

I'm writing this as a divorced parent.

We have three children, now mostly grown, but at the time we decided to separate, my youngest was just 4.

I read these articles, and my heart breaks once again, as it did that day we sat our three children down to talk to them about how their lives was about to change.

We both called our children into the living room, sat with them, holding them in our laps, and spoke calmly, and quietly. We explained how much we loved them, and that although our love for them was very strong, and would last forever, our relationship with each other had changed.

We explained how we wanted to do different things, and that living in the same house made that really hard.
We explained as much as we thought they could understand, and mostly we just hugged them a lot, and there were tears from everyone.

As joyous as it is when two people find happiness together, it's equally as painful when they need to be apart to find happiness once again.

I feel badly when I read how the children were left out of the communication, and just left to try and figure it out themselves, on their own.

As hard as we worked together to make it as easy of a transition as we could, there were still problems, and pain. Without the love of a both parents helping children through these life changes, it's impossibly painful, and I would recommend that someone get the child to counseling, and even as an adult if this is all in your past, talk to someone. It's never too late to heal old wounds.

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