by Shawn Burcham

Created on: October 19, 2010   Last Updated: October 25, 2010

Sitting at my desk a few days ago, I had my iTunes on "Shuffle" and Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" came on. The first wave of emotion was happiness; the immediate following reaction: overwhelming sadness. The tears came warm and unexpectedly. I had to keep wiping my eyes with a rough piece of paper towel that I found in my desk. For some reason, I still can't believe he's gone.

We all think we know a lot about the King of Pop, but we really only know of Michael what the media has fed us. We've all seen the side-by-side comparison photos of how Michael's physical appearance has changed through the years. We watched his awkward, unconvincing kiss with Lisa Marie Presley. We looked on as he had three kids that, honestly, I think only Michael and the Lord above knows where they came from. He dangled a baby from a balcony, built an amusement park that he called home and kept a pet monkey. We saw him walk around in public wearing a surgical mask and usher his well-disguised children through frenzied crowds aspark with flashing cameras. We all tuned in to hear the verdict when he was accused of unspeakable things. We heard the buzz about his comeback "This Is It" tour that promised to be nothing less than spectacular. Yes, we saw and  heard a lot of things. But what do we TRULY know about the enigma we all knew simply as Michael Jackson? I think only a few people can really answer that. I'm not one of them. I can only tell you what I think and what I feel.

Not everyone reading this may be old enough to remember the first time Michael did the moonwalk in 1983 on "Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever." I remember it. I was 11 years old, sitting on the floor in front of the TV with a small cassette recorder. We didn't have a VCR yet, but just the sound of the show would be enough to help me relive it over the next few weeks. I was already a huge Michael Jackson fan. The "Thriller" album had come out the year before and, as we all know, was an insanely huge success. I had the sparkly glove, t-shirts, stickers, posters, earrings. I was also lucky enough to have a leather jacket exactly like the one Michael wore in the "Thriller" video. After high school, I donated it to a local thrift store. What I wouldn't give to have it back. Recently, amongst some of my memorabilia, I found a rhinestone glove necklace charm with the letters "MJ" over the glove. It's now a treasure to me.

As the years progressed, I grew out of my Michael Jackson mania

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