by Sara Dooley

Created on: March 06, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Lately I have discovered that my husband and I are different. I know, I know... right now I can hear half of you laughing and asking, how long did I have to be married to figure that out?... There, now that you've caught you breath, I'll continue... What I am trying to say is everyone is different and in marriage you need those differences. The question is are the differences so great that they can not be fused at some joining point. According to a movie I have yet to see you can connect every one with in 6 tries to another person. Well, why can't we do this in relationships? Sit down with our spouse and write out everything we want separately. Then come together and see how we can connect something of our list to something of our spouse's. Now instead of looking at how different we are. We are looking at how we compliment each other. Thus, the focus of marriage. The focus of marriage is how can I show this person that they mean the world to me? How can I make their life better as a result of what I am doing? When you first started dating it was all about that. You did what ever you could to please that person within reason. The problem arises when people stop doing that. When the things that they loved about that person are now the things that annoy. When the things you used to do to woo that person are no longer done. When the "work of wooing" is done and you have captured fair maiden or handsome prince, what do you do? Let's sit down and ask ourselves that very question...

As we are thinking some of you already know where I am going... If hard work and perseverance got you the object of your desire, why would you change your battle-plan? Why would you stop do the things that got you your pirate's treasure? That's as silly as applying for a job and then when you get said job not working. How long would you keep that job? Not long! So why do we believe that people are any different. So my husband changed after we married...maybe I did too...maybe we stopped wooing each other because we didn't know any better.

Here's the thought that I will leave you with...
All of life is a choice. We can choose to do those things that move us closer or things that move us apart. But the choice to try is always there and waiting patiently for us to lay down our pride. Will we choose to put our spouse before ourselves? If you want to keep what you catch you've got to do what you did to catch it in the first place. What will you choose?

Learn more about this author, Sara Dooley.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.