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When in labour, it is crucial that you have the correct birth partner. This needs to be:
*Somebody who can keep calm & be a calming influence on yourself. Labour can be emotional & highly charged
*Who knows your birth plan & who can communicate it to health professionals
*In the event of an emergency, if you are unable to make a conscious decision, to take that on.

*Most importantly, somebody you feel comfortable with (it isn't the most glamorous of things!)

For most people, their first choice is their partner or mum. I have had 3 children & had different birth partners for each.

When I had my first child, I knew that my husband wouldn't be the best person in the room! Whilst labouring he was there for me although going pale on several occasions, but we knew that when it came to the delivery he would panic & pass out! Obviously this was a joint decision & I wouldn't want my husband to feel like he had to be there when he clearly did not feel comfortable with it. My Mum was with me through delivery, which ended up being an assisted delivery. She did 'lose it' on a few occasions & was an emotional wreck by the end of it!

When child number two came along, my sister came with me & once again I had joint support from my husband, but again when it came to the delivery he stood by the door. The labour was relatively easy & my sister kept me calm, although I have to say in transition I did tell her not to touch me! Whilst delivering, she kept calm even when my son's heart rate dropped suddenly just before he entered the world, although after wards she did admit she was panicing inside!

For baby number 3, my husband said he wanted to be my birth partner but unfortunately, I had to have a planned Ceasarean as my pelvis had come apart. I knew in my heart & so did he that this would be to much for him, so a close friend came with me. She did have some medical training which helped as my blood pressure plummeted from 120/80 to 53/27 & she alerted the team as she recognised the first signs, so they administered the drugs quicker than normal. She was also able to take pictures (not something for the squeamish) whilst the team was finishing up, she took my daughter to meet her dad. All of the weighing & measuring took place once I got to the recovery room when we were all together.

Having the right birth partner for you can make the world of difference. Sometimes who you think should be there, isn't always the correct choice. My heart wanted my husband there, my head said NO. It is emotional & can be fast moving & scary. Talk about these things with your birth partner but know you decision is the right one.

Learn more about this author, Hannah Hatt.
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