by Jennifer Carey

Created on: October 11, 2010

Out of the darkness, she feels that familiar 'poke, poke' at her back.  She scrunches one eye open at the digital: 6:05.  She tries to close it quickly and feign sleep, but the poking is more persistent and is now accompanied by a luxurious back rub she cannot help but enjoy.

"Are you kidding me?" she thinks, but then remembers that she is on "staycation" and does not have to work tonight so it is less important when her day starts.  The thought of her plans for the day actually does invigorate her, so she rolls over to her husband, intent on him leaving for work with a big smile on his face.

After many muffled sounds, so as not to wake the kids, the house does become a frenzy of activity.  After pooling together some scholastic book club money, the oldest one is off on her "so early it is still dark out" middle school bus.  It takes much more to get the younger two off- from negotiations over what is going in the lunch box, finding all the pieces of the gym uniform, insuring teeth are actually brushed, to the daily argument of the autumn season: "I know the weatherman said it will get into the high 60s today, Adam, but for now it is only 54, so put a sweatshirt or a jacket on."

Her bare feet are chilled as she stands by the door, cradling her warm cup of coffee.  She waits by the door, watching the boys play driveway hockey while they wait for the bus.  She enjoys that they are playing together but also needs to keep an eye on the game lest the little one takes the game too seriously and tears a knee out of his uniform pants.  Then she hears it - the sound of the diesel engine - and both boys drop their sticks simultaneously.  Her baby, although he insists he is a big boy - now that he goes to school "all day," turns and looks at her with his excited bright blue eyes.  "Bye, mommy.  Have a good day!"

She blows kisses back to him, and he catches them with his fat little hands, while the older one rolls his eyes but utters his goodbyes. She watches them board the bus and as the bus pulls away, she gives a small shudder to the coolness of the morning.  "This is what bittersweet is,"  she thinks, "I have no children to turn around and take care of."  She savors the moment, looking at the pile of vibrant leaves against the dark green grass while the blueness of the sky promises another beautiful autumn day.

Then she turns and looks at the clock in her now empty house: 8:35.  While she

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