by Hannah Russell

Created on: October 10, 2010

Should bipolar parents have children?  The most appalling aspect of this question is that it presupposes that those with bipolar disorder are permanently damaged goods.  Anyone raised by a bipolar parent would be the first to tell you that it was hard.  There are days when it seems flat out impossible.  However, this is not to say that their parents failed.  This is because people with bipolar disorder are not unable to live productive, normal lives. Bipolar parents can be just as good of parents as non-bipolar parents if they are aware of their challenges and properly address them.

            Those with any mental disorder wake up each and every day with a struggle to face.  They have to live the day, aware of their feelings, emotions and behaviors and be constantly scanning them for signs of their disorder and removing them.  It could be likened to a computer that is constantly running an anti-virus program and constantly finding and removing viruses.  Does having children add to the challenge?  Certainly it does.  When you have children constantly taxing your day and demanding your attention, scanning and controlling yourself moves up a level in difficulty, as well as importance.  However, with proper care, awareness of their challenge and possibly pharmaceuticals, these parents should be able to control their disorder well enough so that the children still have a happy childhood.  Some children may even consider themselves as having been developed further because of their parents’ challenges.

            A parent with bipolar disorder is not a perfect parent.  But neither is any parent.  All parents will make mistakes and do things which a psychology book would convince us should destroy the child on the spot.  However, the fact of the matter remains that most children grow up to be successful members of society.  Children are more resilient than would be thought, and a parent making a couple of mistakes is not going to destroy the child’s life for all eternity.  So, who is to say that a parent who makes a few mistakes and pretends they aren’t is a better parent than the bipolar parent who make even more mistakes, but is constantly trying to be better and acknowledges their issue and admits it to the child?

            Those with bipolar disorder are not invalids.  They are not unable to manage their disorders, and they are not unable to be good, successful, wonderful parents. The idea that their personal challenges forever relegates them to a pool of people who will never be able to manage themselves and will therefore never be able to be successful parents or members of society is bleak, insulting, pessimistic and straightly untrue.

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