by Rena Sherwood

Created on: October 10, 2010

Many women have problems making genuine friends.  Many men have difficulties, too, depending upon their past histories.  However, women are at a distinct disadvantage in being physically weaker than men.  This is a generalization as obviously there are some women athletes that could toss male athletes across a room.  But physically strong women are rare and probably would not be reading this article.

Women have trouble making friends due to their past histories, due to their health and due to time commitments.  Women can make allies, acquaintances and be on speaking terms with co-workers, but making a genuine friendship with another human being not related to them is very rare.

Past Histories

Both men and women can be bullied, abused or become victims of injustice to the point where they can’t help but become suspicious of anyone that tries to be friendly with them.  Some abuse victims often go through the trauma of leaving an abusive partner only to shack up with yet another abusive partner.  The theory, proposed by psychologist Lenore Walker, is that women victims in particular are addicted to bad relationships because they have learned to be helpless.

Anyone who has been a victim of abuse or a con will naturally be wary of any other human being.  They will always wonder if the other person is after something and is just pretending to be friendly.  Trust has to be earned over a long period of time where a woman (or man) can see if a person’s actions match up to his or her words. 

Health

Women tend to be chronically ill or fatigued more often than men.  Keep ion mind that this is also a generalization and the health of individuals can vary.  Women, for example, are three times more likely to suffer from migraines than men, according to the National Headache Foundation.  Women need to take sick days more often than men, according to a 2008 study published in “British Medical Journal”.

If a woman is not feeling well, it’s all she can do to keep up her commitments to work and family.  Time for socializing is cut and usually replaced with trying to get to sleep or some other type of relief from their physical pains.

Time Commitments

Modern women are also incredibly busy, usually due to financial pressures.  The days of a one-salary family are long gone.  Basically, as soon as you reach the legal working age, a girl needs to get a job.  If a woman has family commitments or other social commitments such as church work that she cannot get out of, then making a new friend will be seen as a chore and not a pleasure.  She just does not have enough time to add anyone else on her overcrowded schedule.

References:

University of Minnesota Human Rights Library. “Theories of Violence.” http://www1.umn.edu/humanrts/svaw/domestic/link/theo ries.htm

National Headache Foundation. “Women and Migraines.” http://www.headaches.org/educational_modules/medtron ic/

Science Daily. “Women take almost 50 percent more short-term sick leave than men.” http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/02/0802042 12846.htm

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