by Stefanie Kramer

Created on: October 09, 2010   Last Updated: October 10, 2010

The migraine:  Ever had one? For years I’ve been plagued with debilitating headaches, which often drift into migraines, all while trying to be the perfect mother, wife, daughter, manager, friend, writer, banker... or whatever role someone wants me to fulfill. Part of the migraine enigma is hereditary; however, a large part of this medical condition could be offset if only I would give myself a little wiggle room.

I heard a story at a conference last year - a simple, yet sad story. The condensed version is this: A lady, who was dying of cancer, suddenly realized that she had forgotten to live her life. The proverbial soccer mom had been so busy doing everything for everybody else, she didn’t do anything for her self. And her only real dream was to see Paris. She never saw Paris.

That sort of struck me. Let me rephrase. That really, really struck me. How many days go by, and I find myself forgetting to watch a sunset, listen to the wind, or just spend some time with my kids? And I mean really immerse myself in their essence, instead of simply ensuring they're fed or not running a temp? 

As my husband has often noted, I tend to take the things I love and make a lot of work out of them. Take, for example, writing and reading. I love to write. But I’ll write blogs, articles, and short stories, (all while working on a novel) until I’ve completely run myself into the ground. Guess what? The same goes with reading - thirteen books stacked in a corner (and few more downloaded on the Kindle.) How many did I read last year? I need to have this one read for book club!

Apparently, I like migraines. We all know habits (and the Midwestern work ethic) are difficult to change. But life is a gift, right?  So, if your personality is anything like mine (I’m suspecting it might be if you’re still reading), here are my suggestions for dealing with stress:

 1-Pray and meditate daily. Make it the first thing you do. Oh - and do yoga. Because it’s awesome and it centers your soul. (Rodney Yee is a masterful teacher, in my amateur opinion.)

2-Exercise daily. Endorphins make you happy. Do it no matter how utterly sour you feel. Am I sounded bossy yet?

3- Spend time with your friends - even if it’s a quick bite to eat over a lunch hour. Oh- and only choose those friends who make you laugh (you know, the jolly ones). If they aren’t available? Find new ones. There’s bound to be some around. Pick a cool coffee

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