by Teri Vance

Created on: October 07, 2010

I will never forget my introduction to the horror movie genre. March 4, 1975.  I was eleven years old. Back in the day, as we older folks now say, we had four, (yes, only FOUR) television stations to choose from.  Back in the ancient times, we could choose from ABC, CBS, NBC or PBS. "Impossible" you say! But, I kid you not! That was ALL we had. Back then we awoke at daybreak, had to go out and actually HUNT dinosaurs for our sustenance, in twelve feet of snow, for miles, uphill, both ways! Yes, it was a hard existence, but yet we prevailed. Alas, I digress, we were discussing Horror Movies. March 4, 1975, the ABC network, "Movie of the Week", it was called then. A movie called "The Trilogy Of Terror". That movie starred one of the original "scream queens', Karen Black. It was a three segment movie, with three short stories that were unrelated. The third short story was the one that made me devise my "List Of Rules". The third story was about a woman who lives alone, in a highrise apartment. She comes home from shopping, with a package that contains a a tribal doll. Of course, accidentally, the dolls necklace falls off, which brings said murderous doll to life, and this short story scared me ALMOST to death!

    Fast forward,  35 sequels later, from that date in 1975, and my "List Of Rules", that I started devising that very night, has not failed me yet.  I admit, with every new movie that has been released over the years since, I have had to improvise, adapt and overcome, the rules I made, before each new film was released, in order to survive. It is a constant struggle, to be the last one standing, as the lights fade out, and the credits roll. So that we are all on the same page, I will share with you  now, my "List Of Rules", so that you may, too, survive, and together, we will be able to repopulate the world, once the apocalypse/ infestation/ infection/ serial killing/ mass murdering/ monster plague/ paranormal activity has passed. Pay close attention, and do NOT, under any circumstance deviate from these "rules".

- ANY kind of Doll is MAJOR creepy! Stay away from dolls. Under no circumstance go near a doll. No matter how popular, or cute it may be, it IS, and will ALWAYS be, evil!

- All Clowns are evil. Shoot them in the face, prefrably with a 12 guage shotgun, then burn what is left, with some type of flame thrower.

- ALWAYS have a 12 guage shotgun, a hammer, bugspray,  AND a flamethower at your disposal!

-*for

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