by Aanya Rose

Created on: October 07, 2010

Spousal Rape

The words “spouse” and “rape” make no sense to most people, especially among Christian communities, where women are taught to submit to their husbands. Many Christian women believe that to be submissive to their husband requires that they do everything their husband asks of them, no matter the context or consequence.

Rape is often hidden under the guise of spousal submission. Sometimes women that are victims of emotional abuse and/or intimidation in marriages suffer some other form of abuse. Many times this abuse comes in the form of unwanted sexual advances or worse, spousal rape.

What is spousal rape? It is unwanted sexual intercourse with a marriage partner that can occur when the victim is:

• Unwilling

• Mentally ill and/or unable to consent because of other factors including drugs or alcohol

• Consents because of fear and pressure

• Consents because of excessive pressure from the partner

• Consents to sex because of guilt and pressure and to avoid violence

• Engages in sex because of pressure and/or physical violence Is non-participative or asleep/does not consent

Spousal rape is much like ordinary rape. Any sexual encounter with another individual should be consensual. Consider for example, in the bible, the story of Queen Vashti and King Ahasuerus. In the book of Esther the King of Persia became drunk on wine demanded his then beautiful Queen, whom he loved, be brought into the palace wearing nothing more than her crown. He wanted to have her prance around the ballroom in front of all his friends, inspiring sexual lust and shaming her. Not exactly rape, but sexual humiliation to say the least.

Would you agree that this is proper and a humane act? Today, what would the courts say of a husband that demanded his wife appear in front of all of his coworkers wearing nothing but a tiara to embarrass and shame her and satisfy his lusts? Would that not be harassment? Now, take that to the next level, and have him force himself on her. That would not be acceptable. Nor would God or anyone consider that acceptable. In fact, one might describe it as an act of evil, of possession, a moment of insanity.

Spousal rape is not a moment of intimacy and mutual respect and love. It is an instance of power and control, where the spouse violates the bonds of love. In a marriage it is required that the wife submit to the husband, but also that the husband do the same for the wife.

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>