by Shen-Li Lee

Created on: October 06, 2010

"Fruits spoil, babies don't."

It is a commonly held misconception that babies who are held constantly and frequently will be spoiled and will expect to be held all the time.  Yet this is probably one of the biggest fallacies new parents will be told as they begin their parenting career.  Not only can babies not be spoiled by being held all the time, babies need frequent touch and handling to thrive. 

Why Babies Cannot be Spoiled

The brain consists of three parts - the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain, and the higher brain.  When a baby is born, only the reptilian brain is functional.  In order to be spoiled, a baby needs access to the higher brain functions which does not occur until a child is older. 

Babies are born into the world with little understanding of it.  Babies are born with only the instincts for survival - the root reflex for suckling and a strong desire to be close to a warm body.  The laws of nature state that an infant left on its own in the wild becomes easy prey to predators.  In order to survive, the infant needs to stay close to a protective adult who is able to fend off attacks from predators.  A baby does not know that he is safe in the nursery and that there are doors and windows to keep predators at bay.  Therefore a baby survival instincts demand that he be held close to a protective adult in order for him to feel secure.

Why Babies Need to be Held Frequently

The need to be held is as essential to a baby as food, water, a clean diaper and sunlight.  This was revealed in a  study observing orphaned babies at the end of World War II.  In order to determine what was the best method for taking care of orphaned babies, a Swiss doctor traveled around Europe and studied the different environments that these babies were raised in.  Some babies were cared for in American field hospitals where the conditions were pristine.  The nurses attended to the babies' basic needs, feeding them special infant formula by the clock and returning them immediately to their stainless steel cots after.  Other babies were raised in remote mountain villages where they were cared for in the arms of the village women surrounded by other children and animals.  They drank goat's milk and ate from the communal stock pot.  Although the infants from the latter group lived in an environment that was far from hygienic, more of these babies survived compared to the babies that were raised in the scientifically-managed hospitals.

What the study discovered was that babies needed frequent skin-to-skin contact from two or three significant people.  They needed to be carried and they needed movement, eye-contact, smiles and a colourful and lively environment to survive.  The desire to be held was necessary for the baby's survival.

The Importance of Frequent Holding

Frequently carrying and holding babies helps them to feel secure.  The feeling of security helps babies develop trust in their caregivers.  Babies who do not feel threatened with insecurity are then free to develop normally because they are not worried about whether their needs will be met.  They are free to explore and learn about the world around them.

Babies cannot be spoiled by being held all the time.  In fact, babies need to be held as much as possible.

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