by Miranda Miller-Smith

Created on: October 04, 2010   Last Updated: October 18, 2010

Being a stay at home mom can be one of the most rewarding experience for a woman.  The experience can seem depressing and isolating at times if you are not prepared for this journey of round the clock child care.  A stay at home mom needs friends outside of the home. Having connections to other adults can improve a mother’s outlook and give a feeling of refreshment. It is healthy to take some time out of a hectic day and chat with a friend over coffee or lunch or possibly see a movie.

Many women say they could not survive without this break. It makes a woman a better mother when she has the chance to recharge her batteries and share thoughts, worries and her day with someone outside of the home.

I understand this completely. It can be difficult to maintain a good feeling when you are cooped up with your children and you haven’t had any adult conversation or even quiet time. You might feel resentful of your partner for not taking over to give you a break, you might be frustrated with your family for never considering how hard you work to keep the home clean, run the errands and cook the meals .

If you have a friend outside of the home you can express these feelings and gain insight from someone you trust into your situations. You will probably also enjoy helping your friend with her issues and the distraction of funny stories about ‘the kids’. Chances are you will be laughing within minutes of your chats without the kids running around and screaming. If they are present for your ‘Mommy time’ that is okay too. The adult company will be good for the soul!

Sometimes with a family comes a new set of friends. If you had many childless friends, planning get togethers and activities will be more difficult, especially if you lack a trustworthy baby sitter! I have found that new friends come into my life that are understanding and enjoy my child as much as I do. I must work harder to maintain my friendships with my childless friends. For me, that makes the time we do spend together even more special and rewarding.

I can think of many ways a stay at home mother can benefit from having friends outside of the home. Sharing tips and learning new things about household jobs, cooking, organization and so on can also be rewarding.

Sometimes one of my pals and I go grocery shopping together. Having someone to share coupons with is great. The chatting and giving live ‘reviews’ of products to each other make the task enjoyable! We find ourselves crawling along the store, in no hurry to finish. It is a luxury to shop without the family!

Having a friend outside of the home provides something essential, a connection to the outside world. A way to keep the body and spirit refreshed. An outlet for hopes, dreams, fears and frustrations. Someone to share life with, even if it is in small increments of time.

Without friends outside of the home a stay at home mother can feel isolated, lonely, depressed, angry and socially awkward. Without a connection to someone else some women feel like they do not exist socially.

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