by Billy Sunshine

Created on: March 05, 2007   Last Updated: April 30, 2007

Chivalry seems to be going out of style; Not only has the Women's Liberation Movement made many a man wary of of the snarl of a (heavily dramatized) mean- spirited feminist, should he open a door for her, but also, people in general are more absorbed in their own lives than ever. Forget about opening doors; Some of these people are too wrapped up in their cell phones and mp3 players to even let other drivers in or signal in traffic.

I don't buy the whole feminist backlash thing for the decline of chivalry. I blame it on rudeness and inconsideration.

What's my solution? When I am walking into a restaurant or a store and someone is walking behind me, I hold the door open for that person, whether it is a woman or a man. I also try my best to be courteous and considerate when I'm driving. Of course, I give up my seat on a bus to any pregnant lady, anyone with kids or groceries, or any elderly person. I don't mind standing, and other people do mind. In short, I try to set a good example for others to follow.

Chivalry, at least in my mind, is tied to manners and basic decency. I was simply taught to say "Please" and "Thank you" and to address people as "Sir" or "Ma'am". I even call my little boy "Sir". Now, it has rubbed off on him, and I get constant compliments on what a nice and polite child I have. I hardly think I should get an award because my son covers his mouth with the crook of his elbow when he coughs; by doing that, he simply minimizes the spread of germs. It makes good sense, as well as being polite.

Chivalry is rooted in Knighthood, and thus, has implications of "being a man". I don't like this idea of "manhood" in it's typically macho sense, but there are still times I find myself in that role; Once I had a friend over who was drunk and rambling on about an ugly situation in the most coarse and vulgar language possible, in the presence of my wife and my mother-in-law. However uncomfortable it was to have to say it, and at the risk of physical confrontation with my much beefier friend, I politely told him he needed to immediately end the line of conversation. I told him, "If you wouldn't say something like that around your daughter or your grandmother, don't say it around my family." He asked me to discuss it further outside, but I politely declined.

If I see someone assaulting someone in the street, I am going to assist the one being assaulted, end of story. It doesn't matter if it is a man or woman, I defend the weak and powerless.

Another time, some drunk guy grabbed one of my female friends in a sexually offensive way. When I found out, I took a friend and marched right down to the party he was at and informed him of the proper behavior he should exhibit towards my friends. He disagreed and I then told him to put his hands up before I proceeded to express my displeasure physically, although in the gentlest and most chivalrous way possible. Then my friend dragged me off of him and I went home.

Two days later, the strangest thing happened: That same guy walked up to me in the street and shook my hand. He told me that he was sorry that he had been drunk and misbehaving, and that he was really impressed that their were still people in the world who would defend their friends. I just wish there were more.

However, one thing I don't know about is the virtue or intelligence of laying down my jacket in a puddle; I figure most ladies are smart and capable enough to just step around it. Besides, what are you going to do if she gets cold further into your walk home- Give her your wet jacket?

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