by France Burlingham

Created on: March 05, 2007   Last Updated: April 30, 2007

Is chivalry gone with the wind and if so is the women's movement to blame?

In researching the meaning of chivalry I found the following: chivalrous behaviour - courteous and considerate behavior, especially toward women. This, to me, means good manners. It has absolutely nothing to do with gender, age, race, and so on.

Whether male or female, there is no excuse for bad manners. This means that you say please and thank you and excuse me and other appropriate words. What I have found is that both men and women are very short of good manners when in public and the younger people seem to have not been taught any at all.

Recently I was in a mall and was pushing my shopping cart out the door. Approaching the exit, I noticed there was a younger woman coming behind me. Although a struggle, I held my cart with one foot and the door with the other so that it did not slam in her face. There was absolutely no acknowledgment that I had extended this courtesy to her and to be honest, I felt like running her over with my shopping cart, albeit only for a moment or so. What would it have taken to say thank you'?

I live in a rural community where people are mannerly, especially the older ones. If I'm entering the post office and there is a person in front of me, he or she will hold the door. I never forget to say thank you' and extend the same courtesy to other people I may encounter.

Why is our society so lacking in manners? Some people will blame the women's movement while others will say it's because so many women entered the work force and left their children in the care of others. I am a child of the 60's. I went to work full time in order to survive, not to burn my bra or march through town. I soon became a single parent but I never forgot to teach my son to be courteous and he and his partner are now doing the same with their children. Possibly women are to blame as we were the ones who, in days gone by, had the responsibility of raising the children and were for the most part stay-at-home parents. But in today's world it is the responsibility of both parents to instill in their child polite behaviour.

Is chivalry dead? Yes, the kind that depicts the knight in armour, mounted on a white horse, with their colour standard flapping the breeze. If we saw a guy like that galloping down the street, we would most likely call the police. But chivalry to me means good manners and good manners are in short supply in many areas. It takes no effort to say thank you or please so why not do it?

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