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You couldn't convince me, even just 5 years ago, that I would be married today- and happy at that.

I am a former serial relationship-a-holic. I've been in numerous relationships over the years- all of them lasting anywhere from 6 months-6 years. I always seemed to end up in a relationship, even if it was only supposed to be a date. I've been engaged 5 times. I've dated men of all walks of life. I've dated older men, younger men, white, black, successful, not so successful, and from all different social backgrounds- from the "biker" to the "wanna be rapper". I haven't left a rock unturned, hoping to find Mr. Right. I did find Mr. Right.. his name was Mr. Right Now. I would stay in a relationship holding onto the hope that I could change parts about them that I wanted to be different. I thought that a woman was supposed to stick it out regardless of the cost, because that was afterall, what a good woman should do. Well, in reality, all that this caused me was heartache and disappointment. I was- settling for less- than what I now know I deserved. I didn't want to settle for the man that "society" told me I should have. I didn't have a picture in my head of what the perfect man would be. Afterall, wouldn't that be unrealistic? No, its not. It's quite possible.

After the last relationship failed and I finally got out (after 6 long years), I decided that I was going to go solo for awhile. I was tired of the same old ending. I always felt like I was settling for less. After a short time I began venturing out and hanging out with some friends, going out to eat, maybe even catching a movie here or there. I didn't date men, I dated my friends for awhile. In the process of this, I met a man that was friends with the friends I had been "dating". He and I hegan a friendship and found ourselves gravitating towards one another during these outings. We began to talk and it was different this time. I had nothing to lose. He was just a friend of a friend and we "vented" to one another about our past failed relationships. I began to realize that the expectations that I had had in the past relationships weren't too high at all. I was realizing that it wasn't about me picking the wrong men.. I was letting them pick me! I was always allowing men to decide that I was what they wanted and thats why I contined to feel like I was getting the short end of the stick.

Over time, I married this man that had been such a good friend. We had so much in common. We had both always allowed ourselves

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