by Dr. S.S. Dhillon

Created on: September 29, 2010   Last Updated: September 30, 2010

Why is it so hard to lose weight and keep it off? It is not because we don't know which foods to eat and which to avoid.

In most cases, persistent obesity is the result of irrational beliefs, which make us using food to satisfy emotional, not physical, hunger.

 By replacing these beliefs with sound self-statements, it's possible to change our eating behavior-and our weight.

 Start with Self-Acceptance:  Few people recognize the incredible irony that underlies most cases of obesity-that is, if you're serious about losing weight, you must first learn to accept yourself. You must do so unconditionally, with all your eating and weight problems.

 Putting yourself down-for being fat, for falling short of your eating goals or for any other reason-may feel like a powerful motivational tool. In fact, it hampers your efforts to change your eating habits.

If you habitually put yourself down, you'll eventually come to view yourself as weak and unable to change-and, perhaps, not worth changing.

Self-flagellation also makes you feel bad.  And people regularly use overeating to soothe bad feelings.

How does one move toward greater self-acceptance? There are two key strategies: 

Focus on behavior. Don't confuse what you do with who you are. Just because you overeat (behavior) does not mean you're a bad person (character).

Each of us does millions of things during a lifetime. Some are good. Some are bad. Learn to say, "Overeating is bad" rather than, "1 am bad."

Change "shoulds" and "musts" to preferences. Shoulds and musts are among the most common-and most destructive-irrational beliefs. "if you think that...

• Life should be less stressful...

• You should be able to eat whatever you want...

• You must become thinner...

• Other people must treat you fairly...

 …then you'll feel angry and miserable when these demands aren't met.

Let's face it. Life isn't fair, and others don't always treat us the way we'd like them to. Yet insisting that things be otherwise doesn't change things. It just wastes time and energy and makes us chronically upset.

When we recast these demands as preferences, they lose their power to make us miserable.

For example: Don't tell yourself, "I must be thin." Tell yourself, "I prefer to be thin."

In conclusion: Positive thinking patterns are crucial to successful, long-term weight management.

 People who are not successful at managing their weight tend to:

•  Make excuses that let them overeat or not exercise.

•  Focus narrowly on the pleasure of eating and forget their weight-management goals.

• Doubt their ability to change.

• Set unrealistic expectations for themselves or others.

• Judge themselves-and other people-harshly.

In contrast, those people who are successful tend to:

• Remind themselves of their long-range goals.

• Notice even small successes in weight management.

• Use positive self-talk to keep themselves on the right track.

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