by Taye Foster Bradshaw

Created on: September 29, 2010   Last Updated: September 30, 2010

The other day a good friend of mine told me I was attacking Bishop Eddie Long.

I countered that my previous blog post and even Facebook status updates about the situation were not an attack, but a wake up call for the rest of us, the black church.

For far too long, black gays and lesbians, have suffered in our community. They have had to hide under a shroud of piety while struggling with their natural-born sexual inclinations in a society that trumpets masculinity.  All while loving Christ and having a strong desire to serve HIM.

The church is supposed to be a refuge, a safe place to come and worship, receive grace and mercy, and figure out this thing called life and our walk.

Too often, the church, particularly the black church, becomes a judgment seat.

I have personally experienced the one-sided, heavy handedness of pastors and churches who abuse their position.  Not to the extent of the pain these four young men are dealing with, but to the extent of trust destroyed, confidences broken, and theology questioned.

One former pastor called me, almost a decade after I left the ministry, and apologized.  "I was wrong."  He was exercising power and control over the lives of the congregation, even to the point of choosing who could and could not marry and who they could marry.  He had elevated himself to the position of being infallible.

In another church, while seeking counsel for a situation in my marriage, one of the co-pastors heard the conversation and went back and told my husband. Trust and confidence broken.

In another church, women were told to wait for their husbands, but not to date, and then if they meet someone to marry quickly so as not to inflame the fleshly desires.  Only to find out the husband was abusive, sexually confused, or otherwise not ideal. Then she was told to pray more, fast more, give more, and if all else fails, she could not divorce, no matter what he did.

It was examples of spiritual abuse of power that bothered me the most about what Bishop Long did.  Then for him to stand before his congregation and not emphatically deny he abused those four young men, sealed it for me.  My attack is not against him, but against all shepherds who hold themselves up as being above reproach and the sin nature we all fight against.

I posted a link from Bishop Carlton Pearson proclaiming the Gospel of Inclusion.  He spoke about his embrace of gay and lesbian believers and how the black church railed against him on

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