by M. Teresa Blaylock

Created on: March 05, 2007   Last Updated: May 04, 2007

Love can be a tricky thing, and it's hard to know, sometimes, if the person you love loves you in return. In most cases, though, if your husband married you, he makes a strong case for loving you. If he asked you, the case is made even stronger; if you asked him - well, he had to agree to it, right?

I was married once before I married my current husband. My current husband and I have now been married for over two years. We lived together for two years before getting married, mostly because I had a fear of commitment, but also because we both wanted to make sure that we weren't jumping into anything by getting married. He once told me, "Your happiness is my happiness." At the time, I thought that he was just being sweet, but that he didn't really mean it. I later found out that he really did.

It's not the big things that he does that tell me that he truly loves me - although sometimes I'm amazed at the things he does for me. It's the little things. Once a month, when I'm suffering from cramps and general grumpiness, he makes a big pot of spaghetti (because carbs are good for women during that time), and brings me chocolate and strawberries. At other times, he may bring me a little gift for no reason at all. I'm a writer, and he once ran across a pen he thought I would like; so he bought it and brought it home for me.

I also believe that love and respect are intertwined. For example, I'm a small person, look much younger than I am, and a lot of times people tend not to take me seriously until they get to know me. I've actually had people tell me, "Why, you're a logical person! I'm very surprised - and pleased!" My husband, however, has always taken me seriously and treated me with respect. When he got his motorcycle, I had fun riding around as a passenger, but I really wanted to ride on my own, too. I never said anything; he somehow picked up on this, and we went shopping for motorcycles. I'm only 4'11", so this was no easy matter. I wanted a cruiser, not a sports bike, and certainly not a little moped. I remember going into one dealership and asking about suitable motorcycles for my height. The salesman took one look at me and said, "You'd probably be better off looking at a scooter." He didn't even show me the motorcycles. To make a long story short, we finally found a Harley which was short enough for me to ride. My husband undertook my training, never once doubting that I could do it. (Well, if he did doubt, he never showed it).

Another example of respect is my writing. My husband doesn't really enjoy poetry, but he reads mine anyway, and goes to my book signings. He's always excited for me when I get published in a literary magazine, and has always been supportive of my goals. When I'm studying for class, he leaves me alone so I can get my work done.

I could give many more examples - but the point I'm trying to make is that love combines physical affection and mutual respect. If you want to be loved, be a loving person. Treat him how you'd like to be treated, and results will follow.

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