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I am from Indonesia who married with an American man who has had 3 children already and they live with their Mom. As a person who comes from the Asian country, my culture and my husband's culture have many differences, including in calling for the step-parents. In my country, the children still call their step-parents, 'Ibu and Bapak'. They mean 'Mother and Father' although they are their step-parents because it shows their respect to them. As I knew in USA the children call their step-parents as their names.

I also have a step-mom and I call her 'Mama'. It is synonim with 'Mommy' in USA. My husband (my fiance at that time) has known already how I call her. That is why he doesn't like if his children will call me with my name. He ever said to me that he prefer to call me 'Ibu' for his children.

Two months before we married, when we had dinner together, his youngest daughter asked something that I never thought before. It was so impressed question. She asked him in front of me, her sister and her brother. She asked him, "How will we call her, Dad?" I wondered what my husband would said to her. He answered, "Ibu means 'Mother' in Indonesian, so you should call her, 'Ibu'. It is a respect you give to her if all you guys call her, 'Ibu'. It is also an Indonesia culture if they call their step-parents without using their names but it is same like they call their parents."

I saw them to see their reactions, they had sweet smiles on their faces and finally they followed what their father said to them. They call me 'Ibu' until right now. It is so impressed for me having 'a call - Ibu' like that. I love it and I say thanks to them from deep of my heart. Yes, it is a greatest word and a greatest honored I hear from my step-children who call me 'Ibu'.

After we married, one night on their weekend visit, our youngest daughter said to me that she was so happy that I married her father. She also said to me that she ever said the prayer once for our relationship when I was still in Indonesia and her Daddy (my husband) was in USA. It touched my heart. I could not say anything at that time especially how to express my feeling when I heard what she said to me. I just came to her and wrapped her hair and said, "Thank you". Her sister finally came to me and left her activity on the computer. She gave me the small massage on my legs. I felt so peace at that night. I stayed with them on the bed until they fell sleep. Really, at that time I felt they were really my own children and God gave me great blessing through them. Quitely, from the bottom of my heart I thanked to God having such honest compliment that came from my step-children.

Learn more about this author, Fida Abbott.
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