by Jenny Tolley

Created on: September 24, 2010

In our rapidly aging society, more and more people are being faced with the dilemma of taking care of their elderly parents.  In an ideal situation, people would be able to live independently their entire adult lives and there are many healthcare professionals dedicated to helping people live on their own for as long as possible.  But sometimes, elderly family members need more help than they can get on their own and that's when their younger family members are faced with the dilemma of caring for them. 

So far, I have been very fortunate in this regard.  My grandmother lived to be almost 101 years old.  She was remarkably healthy for most of her life and was taken care of by one of her sons and his wife until just a few months before she died.  My mother is 72 years old and still quite healthy.  She recently made the decision to move herself and my elderly father into a senior assisted living facility.  I am so grateful that she made this decision for herself.  She and my father get excellent care from professionals and they are not yet a burden to their four children.

In a perfect world, family members would be happy to take care of their parents.  But in American society, for many reasons, this is not always the case.  Adult children who are trying to make their way in this increasingly complicated and difficult world may not be able to deliver the attention that their elderly parents need, especially if they have children to care for.  I am aware that some nursing homes are terrible places where clients are neglected or abused.  But sometimes family members can also be neglectful or abusive.  Nursing homes at least minimum standards that must be met and oversight from an accrediting agency.  Nursing homes are also more likely to have enough qualified staff and equipment to deal with the special needs of elderly clients.  

I do think that when an elderly person gets to be too debilitated to take care of themselves, family members must take steps to ensure that their loved one gets proper care.  But I also think that those who can't take care of their family members should not feel guilty about hiring professionals.  Sometimes, the professionals really are the best ones to do the job.   

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