by Colette Duval

Created on: September 20, 2010

I brush my teeth

for the first time in a week

don't even know why

something to do

to stop my mind from racing just for a minute

Think I catch a reflection in the mirror

a shadow passing by the door

behind me

hold my breath

hold everything

have you at least come back to explain

why

why

why you could not go on another day, and another and another

or how

how 

how I could possiblly not have loved you enough

how you could have thought

the world was better off without you

how you can leave me

with eternally unanswered questions

which will burden me and weigh me down to m grave

while I have to go on living in numbness

with anger and pain so unbearable

that I don't even know what day of the week it is

or whether it will ever matter again

ever

never again

how I can stop wishing to have just one more minute with you

how I can stop imagining that I feel your breath on my neck

to let me know you are still around

How?

How?

How do I stop waiting for answers?

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