by Kim Miller

Created on: September 19, 2010   Last Updated: September 20, 2010

There are many people who are affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OCD. Some people can not live normal lives because the disorder takes over their life. Others can still live normal lives, while living with the disorder.

It comes in many different forms, and many people have it, however no one else is aware they have it because it does not have a visible impact on their lives. My form of OCD requires that I check things over and over again to be sure that I have done them.

When I’d go to bed at night I’d have to get up several times to check and make sure that I had turned off the stove, and locked the doors. In the winter I’d have to get up and check the wood stove to make sure I’d shut it down. I would get back in bed after doing this ritual only to lay my head down and wonder if I’d actually done the things that needed to be done. I’d get up and do it all over again. I lost a lot of sleep doing this. There would be many times that I did not even use the stove that day but had to check it anyhow.

I had the same problem in the morning when I went to work or when I left the house at all. First of all I’d get to the car and have to go back inside to make sure I’d turned the coffeepot and my curlers off. I’d go back out to my car, actually get in and have to go back and check things again. As time went on I got worse, I’d get down the road a ways and have to go back home to check that I’d done what I needed to do to keep my home safe. It got to where I’d have to get ready for work about thirty minutes early so that I could go through this ritual and make it to work on time. If I did not go back and check I would feel extreme panic.

My disorder was not visible to those around me but it was having a huge impact on my life. I did not get enough sleep because I was up so many times checking things and I had to get ready for work earlier than I needed to. I felt overly stressed by this and wondered what on earth was wrong with me and how I could stop doing this. One day I saw a show on TV about my specific form of OCD and decided to try their technique in controlling my behavior.

The experts on the TV show said that a person with my form of OCD should talk out loud when doing the things that cause us to check and re-check them over and over again. Then as time went on we could whisper the motion. Then in time just think it in our mind. Eventually we might be in control of the disorder but we might always have to tell ourselves silently that we’ve accomplished the task that we are required to accomplish.

I started using this technique at night. As I’d turn off the stove I’d say, "Ok I’m turning off the stove now." The same for locking the doors, "I’m locking the front door now." I did this with every task and found that I could rest because I knew I’d done the things I needed to do, I’d told myself that I had. I did the same in the mornings.

I told myself out loud that I did the tasks for several weeks. Then I started whispering it to myself. As time went on I was able to just say in my mind that I’d done the things that needed done.

I am not completely cured of OCD but I have learned to deal with it. If I start noticing myself checking things over and over again I start telling myself out loud I’ve done them again. I am not sure why I have this disorder but do find in times of high stress it is worse so I have to just be more aware of that and whisper things to myself as I do them. I am thankful that I am able to deal with my form of OCD.

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