Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstances, Leave a Message

OK, you moved, you mingled, you were on your game. Now you are standing in that smoky bar with her number in (or perhaps on) your hand. What happens now? You might think I am going to tell you how long you ought to wait to give her a call. Well, I am but not right now. Right now I have more important matters to attend to with you. Right now I am going to give you the single most critical rule you can have in these situations. Never, ever, under any circumstances, make your initial telephone contact via answering machine. Of all the mistakes you as a man can make (and let's be honest, you as a man are one big mistake waiting to happen) this is by far the absolute worst.

So you have a number. What does that really mean? It means that she is interested in you or it means that she was drunk out of her mind. What it doesn't mean is that you've hooked her. She is rising to the bait, but she isn't in the boat yet. So how do you reel her in? Simple, be yourself, but make sure you do it in person (on the phone). Call her up and have a nice leisurely talk with her about things she wants to talk about. Make it casual, don't go into your life story with her yet. If she isn't home hang up and try her later, but make sure you hear a live human voice before you speak into the phone.

Women will tell you that it doesn't matter. They will tell you that you leaving a message for them on their machine before you have actually talked doesn't affect their opinion of you. Women lie. Women hear a message from some guy that they have never talked to sober in their lives and they say to themselves, "That one is easily disposed of..." When a women gives you her number she is giving you the power to contact her. This is a pretty goodly chunk of power to have and yet it isn't really all that much at all. When she gives you that number she knows that there are still a million ways to never have to talk to you again. She knows that she is still in control of the situation. She knows that the only thing she has really given up is seven digits which can be changed with one quick phone call. As far as she's concerned she has just made a little to no risk investment. If you are Prince Charming (and of course you are you studly man you) she has not lost you. If you are the frog...well let's just say probably won't be around when you call.

From our perspective though, this is all we have going for us. This is the only card in

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