by Stephen Poulitsis

Created on: September 18, 2010   Last Updated: October 25, 2010

Every guy has probably had an experience with a woman who attaches herself like a leech, determined to become ‘the girlfriend’. It makes not a whit of difference if you are attracted to her or not as she’s clearly attracted to you, and will find every possible way to worm herself into your life. You’ve most likely spoken to her pleasantly in passing and declined her offers of dinner, free cruises and invitations to come round to see her etchings. For some reason the 'want to be girlfriend' just doesn’t get the hint that you just aren’t interested, and can start to act rather strangely.

She could pop up in the auto repair shop you’re using pretending it’s just a coincidence that her tire has a puncture: the bit of broken glass sticking out of her bag gives the game away. You can look up from the lunch menu to find her sitting opposite you with a glassy eyed smile on her face. You start taking lunch to the office and reception phones through to tell you she’s there with a home made sandwich hamper, replete with cut out pink hearts between the layers of ham and cheese.

Somehow she gets hold of your cell number and begins to plague you with wake up calls, goodnight calls, and calls which you leave unanswered throughout the day. This can lead to teeth grinding and heart palpitations from annoyance.

As you start to notice her everywhere you realize that the want to be girlfriend has all the makings of a deranged stalker and she has to be curbed now before she gets really carried away. It isn’t a good sign when you start to ask around and discover her last boyfriend moved to Alaska to get away from her unwanted attentions.

As you discover yet another earlier victim of her devotion committed a federal crime to get himself safely locked away from her, you may begin to become disturbed by her obsession. At any moment you dread seeing the announcement of your engagement in the local press.

When adoration turns to obsession, and stalking you becomes her favourite hobby, it is time to get smart and either arrange a restraining order, or set her up on an Internet dating site where she can find a new man to turn into her hobby and obsession.

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