by Rhonda Mix

Created on: September 16, 2010

I tell myself to be grateful, to accept my looming 30th birthday with open arms and an open heart.  In about three more weeks, I will no longer be a twenty-something.  One of my biggest concerns is that I will no longer have this as an excuse.   When dealing with my bouts of indecision I believe I've always brushed them off, thinking there would always be more time to make those life-changing choices. 

Now, faced with the prospect of turning 30, I realize I will become...an adult.  Having so far fled from the more traditional path of stable career, marriage, children...I'm wondering what I'm going to do with myself. 

Right now I'm content with teaching English overseas and seeing as much of the world as possible.  I suppose for most people turning thirty is indeed the rite of passage into adulthood.  This ideas scares me a little, because I'm not really sure what "adulthood" means.  Does this mean I have to dress my age?  Stop wearing short skirts? Give up my fanciful ideas?  Go back to working in a cubicle and hating every moment of it?  Make finding a man to marry a priority? Think about my biological clock, even though I may not want kids?

However, all of this is silly because really, none of it concerns me overly much; my main focus right now is figuring out what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life as I heal from old wounds.  Perhaps I should feel ashamed, that at nearly 30 I still do not know "what I want to be when I grow up."  There are moments when I look at friends or relatives who are in relationships/married/have kids/stable careers, etc. and I am slightly envious.  Then these moments pass and I realize that we all have our own stories to tell, our own paths to travel.

I'm just now learning how to not compare myself to others, though it's  still very difficult at times.  In my travels so far I've met lots of colorful individuals, from all stages of life.  They don't have any set "plan" they follow and they seem happy to be where they are.  While I do have many goals and dreams I'd like to accomplish,  I suppose I need to start looking at all the things I have done in my thirty years instead of feeling guilty about the things I haven't.

I am grateful for the chance to see thirty, when so many others never reach it.  I'm going to have faith that my 30th year will be full of magic and blessings; a new decade, a new chapter.

Learn more about this author, Rhonda Mix.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.