by Duncan Kelly

Created on: September 14, 2010

How To Know If Your Husband is Having an Affair.

A lady's husband started to disappear for hours at a time and have no explanation as to where he'd been. Traffic fines from other towns started to arrive in her mailbox. Her husband seemed distant and uninterested in her, but a lot more interested in younger women. She became convinced that he was having an affair, until he was diagnosed with Pick's disease, a form of Altzheimers!

However, he did show some of the classic signs of a husband who is being unfaithful. Following are some of the things you can look out for, but a word of warning: don't jump to conclusions too quickly. Rather give your husband the benefit of the doubt for awhile until you are sure of the affair. He may just be tired from work, or be hiding the fact that he may lose his job, or some such heavy problem that he doesn't want to burden you with. So be careful!

7 POSSIBLE SIGNS OF INFIDELITY.

No.1: You should see a CHANGE in your husband's demeanor and appearance. From happy go lucky to withdrawn. From a ruddy appearance to a grey appearance. From relaxed to nervous.

No 2.: He will be spending less time at home, either by coming home late from work or going out, without you, a lot more than usual. Does not do anything romantic.

No. 3: He will phone you less than normal. If he's away on a business trip, he will not phone you as often as his normal average. It is also sometimes hard to get him on his cellphone, as though it's switched off.

No. 4: He will not communicate with you as much or in the same way as he used to. He will not like to talk about people who are having affairs, as he will be afraid that he may let something slip. Answers to questions about work may be somewhat vague and non-committal. Initiates less conversations, but still responds if you initiate conversation with him.

No.5 : Tends to do less than normal around the house. May spend more time on the computer online. Does not pay as much attention to the kids.

No. 6 : May respond angrily or tersely to enquiries about where he's been, or what he's been doing, or why he was away so long. May lie about where he's been, or what he's been doing.

No. 7 : His bad moods increase in frequency. He seems to be less patient with you. He seldom tells you he loves you. (..unless he's a real cad, in which case he may lie through his teeth and tell you he loves you.)

Men are extremely clever and thorough at covering their tracks and presenting a "normal" appearance and lifestyle. So they will attempt to camouflage their feelings, and reasons for any change in behaviour.

WHAT TO DO.

Double check all your observations. Look for possible other reasons for his change in mood and behaviour. There's no point in crashing your marriage if your husband is simply overworked and stressed by some big project. Maybe get a friend to phone one of your husband's colleagues and find out if there's problems at work.

As soon as you are suspicious, start already then to work at saving your marriage. Start looking for ways to win your husband back. Before the pawpaw hits the fan, take positive, proactive steps to be the woman that your husband wants to stay with for ever.

Get a friend or a private detective to check up on what he's doing. Only do this if you are really convinced that something is going on.

If this does not explain his behaviour, then (NOTE:This is not an expert opinion.) the direct approach may work. Ask him "Are you seeing someone else?" Ask questions that would require a direct yes or no answer.

If he is having an affair, get some help to deal with the crisis. There are resources available to help you through these heartbreaking times.

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