by Judith Morais

Created on: September 13, 2010   Last Updated: September 15, 2010

In the early days of romance, the phrase “love is blind” colours the kind of relationships we tend to enjoy. During this stage, it is difficult for anyone outside the relationship to be able to share their wisdom of what they are observing. Try telling a young girl that the guy she is with is a loser; she won't see it. Try telling the guy that the young lady is too flirtatious to settle down the way he expects her to; he won't see it. At this stage in the relationship, it is next to impossible to talk sense into a couple, and they often need good friends or family who will gently support them to read the signs when they are ready.

As the veil of illusion lifts off the eyes of lovers, a couple is able to see more clearly. It is at this time they need to consider the strength of their relationship. The first and foremost armour of truth that they must carry with them as they meet with challenges and critics is that a relationship is personal and exclusive to the couple. No one outside the relationship can tell if two individuals are right for each other - but there are many who think they know. An angry man may find the perfect foil in a lady who is able to instinctively touch the right buttons and temper that temper effortlessly. The less than perfect cook may find the man who values much more than the prowess of his loved one in the kitchen.  Yet, these differences can make for problems in a relationship at some point. And a couple serious about their relationship must look at themselves openly and ask if theirs is a healthy relationship. The ingredients to a healthy relationship can appear to be textbook material - all theory but not readily applicable to the real situations we find ourselves in. But with honest soul-searching and communication, recognising the flavour these ingredients add to a relationship can help you savour a fulfilling relationship.

Is there respect in your relationship? A healthy relationship sees each accepting the other as an individual, with a right to be who he or she is without having to feel compelled to change. Yes, we may sometimes feel that life would be easier if our partner got rid of that nasty habit. But in a healthy relationship, while you may share your thoughts, you cannot compel the other to change to suit your desires. It boils down to whether we put ourselves before our partner so that we respect their identity and privacy, and support them in their desires and aspirations.

Accepting each other does not mean you have to blindly tolerate the faults and issues that plague the relationship.  Rather, a healthy relationship sees signs of a couple working at their differences. And one key ingredient to enable this is communication.  Voicing your feelings and opinions is important, as important as listening to your partner. A couple who feel free to voice their feelings recognising that it will be accepted as such and not necessarily as a judgement enjoys a relationship that encourages growth.

Respect and communication are two key signs of a healthy relationship. Revisit them as you face the challenges of developing and deepening your relationship and you'll fly across the hurdles effortlessly.

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