by James Dreyer

Created on: September 12, 2010

Janet was worried about her daughter Laura, a second grade student at the local elementary school.  This school year did not seem to be going as well as last year.  During her first grade year Laura would come home from school excited and bubbly and talking about all of her new friends and the exciting things that they did together during recess and at lunch.  This year is different.

 Laura comes home now and complains about some of her classmates.  She criticizes their behavior and goes so far as to make disparaging comments about the way some of them dress.  She doesn’t speak of good times at recess, rather she complains about cliques that have been formed and how stuck up her friends have become.  Laura is critical of the attitudes and performance of her classmates in the classroom. 

 Janet is concerned.  Her positive first grader has turned into a negative second grader. 

What happened, and can it be fixed?

Of course, the characters Janet and Laura are fictitious, but the problem is real.  Far too often in today’s society youngsters begin to be critical of their peers and since most are enrolled in public schools, classmates end up being critical of one another. 

 We criticize others when we are not happy with ourselves.  As human beings, no matter what our age, we find it easier to blame others for our own shortcomings and for some of the problems that we might be experiencing.  The only way to improve the situation is to find the root problem and solve it, if possible.

 If you have a child, a student, who criticizes his or her classmates, chances are that he or she is really not happy with himself or herself.  To find the problem, you must communicate with the child.  Communication is the key, as it is in so many instances that involve students with problems. 

 By visiting in-depth with a child, a parent may learn that the child has been criticized by classmates.  That someone, somewhere has made fun of him or her.  Perhaps clothing has been criticized or academic or physical ability or appearance has been made fun of.  Rather than deal with the problem face to face, children will sometimes begin to withdraw from the source of the problem (classmates) and will begin to criticize them instead.

 It is a typical example of an eye for an eye mentality.  It is the “she started it” syndrome.  The child

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