by Julie Michael

Created on: September 11, 2010   Last Updated: September 13, 2010

Because anyone has the potential for  violence and no relationship is immune to problems and stress, planning to deal with domestic violence before it happens is important for anyone in a relationship. The problem is, so many believe that domestic abuse will never happen to them or they are quick to justify a partner's behavior, that they end up staying in a relationship that has turned abusive and find themselves "trapped" once they do realize they are being abused.

It's important to have a safety and escape plan before a relationship becomes abusive, even if you never need to use it, just to ensure the safety of yourself and any children you may have.

First and foremost, make sure you have any documents you may need in a safe place. Keep copies of birth certificates, social security cards, photo ids, marriage licenses and other documents in a safe place in your home that your partner isn't likely to find. If this isn't an option for you, then keep copies of these documents with a trusted friend or family member or even in a bank safety deposit box.

These types of documents will be necessary for you to re-establish yourself and your children if you need to escape an abusive situation. Even if you never need to leave an abusive situation, it's a good idea to keep copies of these things in a safe place in case of a natural disaster, fire or other emergency anyway.

Ensure that you've got an emergency stash of cash in a safe place (not necessarily in the same place you keep your documents), just in case you need to make a quick getaway or need to make a long trip that could become costly. A good rule of thumb would be to keep enough set aside for living expenses for a month or two, along with enough money to rent an apartment and turn on utilities.

If you have a trusted friend or family member who would allow you to receive bank statements, it would probably be best to put your emergency fund in a bank account that only has your name on it and then keep an ATM or debit card in a safe place in case you need to escape.

These first two items are the most important - most abusers will control access to money and important documents, which is what causes many abused spouses to stay in the situation longer.

If your spouse has begun acting controlling or aggressive, make sure you've done these two things first. It is much easier to leave an abusive situation and be able to stay away if you're not "stuck" due to lack of money or are unable to get important documents

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