by Lisa Steinmetz

Created on: September 10, 2010

Choices and Redemption

Normally I tend to shy away from the conversations about my religion. I'm a Pagan gal just in case your curious.  Alas for some reason when Olga, a woman from work, starts the conversation, it's hard for me not to talk about it with her. Olga is a Christian lady, very devout and the only one I will talk about the subject with. She's not the kind of lady who preaches to you, she is a listener and knows when to talk about her God. I have a never ending love and respect for this woman and thankfully I know she does for me as well. She doesn't try to "save me" from my Heathen ways and most of all she respects my chosen path as my own and doesn't throw the stones of judgement my way over the differences in our religion.

I am a firm believer in many things. I believe that you don't need to go to church to believe in a God/Goddess or a Higher Power. Nature is my church, it is where I am most at peace with myself. I used to be a born again Christian. I ripped up what few books on Witchcraft that I had and bought a Bible. The TV in my bedroom at the time was set on the religious channel 24/7. To make the story short.. by the time I was fully immersed in Christianity, I was extremely depressed. I wasn't myself and felt as though I wasn't a whole person. No amount of prayer helped me feel whole. There was a part of me that was missing.. lost. Everyone I spoke to about the Bible and God would say the same thing to me, it was like a broken record repeating itself. Follow God and Jesus or your going to Hell. My obedience was demanded not asked for. I was sending money to EWTN and other pastors I saw on the show, still the lack of being whole persisted. I was trying to lead a good Christian life, but to be honest I was just terrified of going to Hell! I had it shoved down my throat so much that I was literally scared to death of doing anything that might have me sent to Hell.

Then one day as I was cleaning my attic bedroom I found a book that I thought I lost. This book was on Witchcraft. I picked it up and felt a wave of peace wash over me. I felt peace within myself and I could feel the missing piece of me coming back. I knew right then and there that I was on the right path. I was so happy to have found this book that I literally cried tears of happiness. My heart was full and I felt whole again. To this day I am whole and I know that no matter what I am on the right path.

I have respect for those who follow Christianity and every other religion that is known to mankind. I do not however have respect for those who feel the need to force their religion on others and use fear to get obedience. Even though I don't follow that God, I don't fault those who do follow him. He and I weren't meant to be on the same path, that's all. no harm, no foul.

I love the path I am on now I am totally at peace with myself and most of all where my path is taking me. I don't doubt myself and I know that MY Goddess loves me for who I am. My obedience isn't forced or demanded. I am loved no matter what faults I have. My Goddess allows me to be someone I wasn't able to be as a born again Christian I am able to be me, flaws and all and I am loved UNCONDITIONALLY.

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