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Reflections: Death of a parent

by Susan E. Carr

Created on: September 09, 2010

The sound of that soft singing voice awakened me.  It was a new day.  “When Irish Eyes are Smiling ...” came filtering into the room from the garden.  He was already awake and busy weeding or planting or cutting the grass.  This was what he always did on a Saturday morning on a lovely day in June.   Soon the back door would creak, the pots and pans would rattle and the smells of bacon would permeate the house.  But I would pretend that I was still asleep – and wait.  Although I didn’t like to eat my vegetables, and I certainly did not like dinner, breakfast was a different matter altogether.  If I stayed quiet I would be surprised, although it was not really a surprise anymore, since I knew he would come around the corner to my bedroom carrying a tray.  If it was June there would be a rose on it from his garden.  I would wait.   I could hear him coming.  “Top of the morning Maggie”, time for the little princess to have her breakfast”.   Another day would begin as I, “The Shadow” followed him everywhere he went, into each corner of the his perfect garden, or stood peering over the top of the counter as he prepared yet another picnic lunch for yet another adventure.

Sometimes though he did other things, things I could not always understand.  Sometimes I would ask him questions.  Well, to be honest, I always asked questions.  “Why?” was one of the first words I learned to speak.   I always wanted to “know”.  My “why” questions were patiently answered, although sometimes he would say “If you can stay quiet for 5 minutes I will give you a nickel for the penny candies”.  I never did immediately answer, since I knew that this would be a major “test” for me.  It was rare that I could stay quiet.  “Well, ok” I’d say, “I will try and see if I can do it.”   Occasionally, I could make it past the first minute, but usually I would begin to talk again shortly.  “I just can’t do it. You can keep the nickel and instead we’ll go to the Diary Queen if I eat my supper.”   Looking up, I could see his “Irish eyes” smiling down on me.  “Maggie, you are something else, I guess if you eat all your vegetables we can try the next flavour.”  I

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