by Casey-Leigh Hethers

Created on: September 08, 2010

The combination of married men and affairs is something that often happens with startling frequency, due to the high profile scandals involving celebrities and other high-profile figures who end up in the headlines of tabloids. Behind closed doors, and in the privacy afforded to the average person, for every cheating man who has his secret relationship announced there are others who continue in their dalliances undisturbed. In the shadows of a married man in an affair is - inevitably - the "other woman" - the temptress, the mistress or the one who tears a family apart.

Secrecy plays a major part in the success of dating a married man - particularly if the woman desires to keep her reputation clean and free from the name-calling that will ensue if her actions are made public. Of course, keeping such a secret can be fraught with nerves and uneasiness. As the other woman, lying to friends and family will eventually become second nature. For those incapable of keeping stories straight, it can eventually have a damaging effect on the relationships with those that are being lied to - as stories fall apart and the truth becomes tangled in a web of lies.

Isolation and loneliness is a common challenge. When you must drop everything at short notice to snatch moments away with a lover, it can be hard to make plans with other people. The opposite is also true. If you make plans with someone else, do you cancel if your married man suddenly becomes available? In part, dating a married man quickly feels like living a secret life; one where nothing is guaranteed and where everything hinges on changing plans at the last minute, in order to spend brief interludes of time together - in the knowledge that in a little while he will return to his wife and supposed happy home life.

As time passes, it is quite easy to let the green-eyed monster creep into feelings. "What does she [the wife] have that you don't?" or "why do you have to drop everything when he becomes available?" Living with these emotions will never be easy; you will want to lash out at everyone concerned and - because there is often no one to confide in - your own self-esteem takes a battering. Jealousy, resentment and bitterness are all side effects that can be experienced when you entire life remains on guard - the wrong word or one slip-up can result in disaster as the relationship is exposed.

The challenges of engaging in an affair with a married man is often a case of the negative aspects outweighing the bad. Sometimes, though, the other woman is more than content to enter into a relationship on these terms. For these women, a strong sense of their own mind and the freedom of not being tied down is a fantastic benefit that cannot be reduced by the challenges that it raises. Most often, of course, is that women dating married men will more frequently come up against the challenges.

Learn more about this author, Casey-Leigh Hethers.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.