by Randi Miller

Created on: March 04, 2007   Last Updated: May 19, 2010

Maybe it's just me, but I find it unusual to report to a first date with most of one's closest friends in tow. Typically when I prepare for that all-important initial meeting, it never occurs to me to schedule it in such a way as to have my posse on hand to scrutinize my date.

Perhaps scrutiny isn't the intent, but for those of us being tossed into that ring of fire, that's what it feels like, and it can be intimidating. It's like being in a Verizon Wireless commercial and seeing the entire network standing behind the new "friend." I guess not everyone is able to appreciate that bizarre and slightly intimidating sensation.

Then again, some of us are quite a bit more serious about these things than others, and perhaps we tend to think of a date as an actual date instead of some sort of strange casting call. People who know me (and there are a few out there) know that I don't often get excited about anyone. I'm Chandler Bing, and I can spot an unforgivable flaw at 50 paces without even looking, so when I get wound up about someone, it's a rather big deal.

There are already too many unspoken rules and regulations about what is acceptable to say or not say when entering into the dating process with someone new. It's not okay to like someone's company "too much," because apparently unless there is some fantastic explanation to justify it, the statement becomes nothing more than a source of confusion. It's not okay to feel "too comfortable" so early in the game, because contrary to everyone's internal wish to find someone in life with whom we can feel this comfortable, when it actually happens it must mean some breakdown in communication has taken place.

And apparently if one does not mesh instantly and beautifully with the rest of the cast without a single moment of normal hesitation or desire to be accepted, there is a lot more explaining to do. Exhausting. Ridiculous. I have no desire to date a teenager. If you can't form your own opinions about me, then I have no use for you. I'm not interested in dating 20 of your closest friends.

As for me, I'm a unique and patient person. I've spent much of my life seeking out and savoring those moments that make me feel like I do when I watch fireworks ... that strange exhilarating thumping in my chest followed by the urge to "ooh" and "ahh." They don't come along very often, and when they do, it always seems to be a battle to explain myself. By the time I've finished trying to explain why I feel the way I do (being careful, of course, not to reveal too much), the feeling passes and suddenly all I feel is a bit stupid. And really, really tired.

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