by Dennis Krivda

Created on: September 05, 2010

In "Big Yellow Taxi" (her popular musical tribute to the inexorable tide of progress) Joni Mitchell sang, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone." And while the songstress might have described the ruination of Hawaii with her lyrics, her sentiment can apply to many aspects of life on earth. Whether wishing for a return to paradise, youth, prosperity, ability, or love, ordinary people all over the world can understand what it feels like to realize the value of something only after it's gone.

For the average person, though, the death of a loved one most often brings Mitchell's sentiment into sharp focus. In fact, wondering what their deceased relative might say or do in any given situation can crystallize for the survivor just how much they've lost through the passing of their mother, father, brother, sister, or even their grandparent. "I wish you were here to tell me what to do!" becomes the mantra of descendants everywhere when facing the relentless challenges of life without the benefit of a loved one's instant wisdom at just a phone call away.

On a deeper level, though, knowing the details of their family's history can supply an aimless youngster with the direction and inspiration they might need to succeed as an adult. Boasting to others, for example, that a great grandparent played an instrumental role in the civil rights movement, or landed on the beach at Normandy often gives a family's youth a sense of identity. Such awareness of where they came from also builds a life-sustaining reserve of self worth for the youngster to draw from whenever staring down the barrel of life's most frightening trials.

Young people, however, do not require epic achievements to enjoy a sense of pride in their family. Certainly, any kid can derive honor from the story of how their great uncle Frank landed at Normandy in WWII; but even the fact that their grand daddy braved the coal mines of West Virginia can ignite a tender face with the warm glow of dignity. How many children brag to their friends that their mom is a nurse, teacher, police officer, or toy store manager? Kids find it easy to announce that their uncle or father is a fireman, soldier, or sailor. So, even without tales of legendary heroism, kids derive a sense of pride from the stories they hear in their own homes.

Throughout time, families have spun yarns around those kin that have gone before. From native American camps in Nebraska to Japanese gardens near Tokyo,

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